The story of how our family herd began

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Welcome to Harry’s Crafty Cow!

As you may have read in my first post I am Marie and this is my blog.

I don’t want to repeat myself as that would be dull. So I thought I would take this opportunity and tell you a bit more about our little herd. How it all began and how Harry’s Crafty Cow got its name.

Once Upon a Time, long before the crafty cow, When I lived alone…

I met James (my now fiancée) on November 2015. I was out with my one year old nephew. We were stopped and I had glared at James as he tried to sell us toys from his market stall. Needless to say I didn’t like him much. I was in a hurry, and this MAN stopping my already painfully slow nephew was the last straw. If someone had said we’d end up engaged and I would have laughed them out the door.

After that day we saw each other three times a week. Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays, with or without my nephew. We chatted a lot about all sorts. Well he chatted a lot and I listened politely at first then with more interest. Something was happening. This irritating human was growing on me and I liked him.

I didn’t realise the extent to my liking of James till July 2016. We’d got closer and his birthday was coming and I really wanted to do something special. No idea why but I wanted to make him happy. His birthday rolled around and I gave him his presents. An Arsenal Wallet and Lighter. For some weird reason that had made him cry. He chocked up hugged me and thats when I realised, Yep I want this man in my life.

It wasn’t till October 2015 we became official. I’d met his son, his ex and his mother and all was good. We’d completed a ‘family’ day out together. This was where I took James, Rowan, my nephew Dexter and my best friend Becky to Drayton Manor. Mostly to meet Thomas the Tank and friends. Two weeks after he became my boyfriend and the start of our rollercoaster relationship.

September 2017

We’d been tighter just over a year and a half. things were good and bad, up and down. Just like most relationships. James and Rowan now spent every weekend at my house. My favourite time of the week. Those two days I waited for. Weeks were long. Rowan and I even then had a close relationship. He adored me and I him, and loved spending the weekends with this little boy and his dad. The pair of them were excited. In two days they we’re going to Disney World. This was the last few days we were together. Rowan had spent near enough the entire summer with us at my house and had started school two weeks before. I was there with him on his first day. Holding his hand and kissing him goodbye. Yes, I did cry. No I didn’t tell anyone. It wasn’t my place.

Just to say I was invited to Disney world, but I bought our Labrador puppy Raven. Instead of theme parks and flights I was was dog minding and cuddling our newest member. I was and did miss them- a lot more than I thoguth I would. Thats when it clicked these two were now my family and I was lost without them.

October 2017 – where it all began really

James came home October 9th (a day early) and proposed. Being away for almost 3 weeks was a toll on all of us and James realised he wanted me in his life just as much as I want him. Rowan too Obviously.

Three days into our engagment bliss, Rowan came to live with us full time. His birth mother didn’t want him anymore. Couldn’t cope with him and gave him up. I won’t go into details because that is a story all of its own. Not a pleasant one of that. So our little herd became a 3. In those two weeks of getting Rowan full time we worked together. We got him into a school, doctors, dentists, and what ever else a 4 year old needed. We moved house that December into one where Rowan had his own bedroom for the first time and I was a parent for the first time.

2017 – 2020

I will not lie, the last few years have been my toughest yet. Being a full time mother to a problematic child is hard work. Rowan came with his fair share of issues and some we’re still working through. From picky eating, violent outbursts, swearing and attitude issues (I mean severe). Mostly now days he seems to have lost the ability to listen to instructions. We’ve worked hard to get him to where he is now, his like a different child. His polite, helpful, creative and clever. Sadly his birth mother stopped all contact with Rowan 2 years ago, his had alot to deal with but in his words, ‘He has a new mummy who cares’ and who loves me more than anyone.

Hello Harry and Harry’s Crafty Cow

In July 2019 I discovered I was pregnant. After a year and half of trying and two miscarriages I was finally preganat. Our little surprise had made a totally shocking visit and I wa beyong chuffed. I’d dreamt of holding my baby boy from the moment I discovered he was there. I could feel him too. This tiny presence of not being alone. Unfortantly it wasnt to last. October 27th 2019 I gave birth to my 12 week old baby boy after a silent miscarriage. I held him in my hand. Cried a lot and shattered my heart. We named him Harry Hendrix Heatley and said goodbye.

Harry’s Crafty Cow came shortly after this day. In preparation of our new bundle of joy, James and I had bought a few small things. One of which was a small teddy cow. During in the labour and birth of Harry, I’d held this toy cow to my heart. He became a great source of comfort. The cow was a link to our lost son. He was Harry’s cow.

The crafty bit came in later when I sewed a name tag to his ear, labelling him Harrys forever. Harrys cow is still now a great comfort to me. As life moves on and on, I still have this little piece of my son with me always. Harrys Crafty cow blog came about when I realised how pained and alone I felt.

I found crafting as a source of comfort. I wrote in a journal, sewed, and drew. I rekindled my shattered bond with Roman and we crafted together, making memories. I made memorable keepsakes to keep Harry’s memory alive.

I decided to start this blog in memory of our son. I want Harry’s Crafty Cow to become a source of comfort to those suffering inside too as well as a place to teach about treasuring memories and moments and not worry about making a mess!

And so…

So dear readers, when you see our Harrys cow. Spare a thought for our lost little boy. Remember the millions of others that only ever got to hear their mothers hearts and not feel their warm hugs.

Thanks again for being apart of our herd and living our journey along with us.

Make Mess, Make memories!

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